School Jokes

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Teaching

Teaching The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family (with a... Read More »

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The Unofficial Manual for Graduate Teaching Assistants

The Unofficial Manual for Graduate Teaching Assistants Teaching Introductory Computer Science Courses for Non-majors LATE HOMEWORK When a student turns in his/her project two weeks late and asks for full credit, accept the late work and tell them that... Read More »

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Disprove this!

A case for the Third Universal Cardinal Rule of Thumb: Never be absolute, unless absolutely necessary: A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. “In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages,... Read More »

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How to write a paper

How to write a paper1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.3. Walk down to the vending machines and... Read More »

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SAT score decay

SAT score decayAs we all know SAT scores have been on the decline for years.The following may be the reason why.A math problem in the 60′sA logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is... Read More »

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In-class Assignment for Wednesday

This assignment was actually turned in by two English students:—————————————————————-Rebecca and Gary English 44ASMUCreative WritingProf Miller In-class Assignment for WednesdayToday we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.The process is simple. Each person will pair off... Read More »

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Selections From the Scholastic Aptitude Preparatory Test

Selections From the Scholastic Aptitude Preparatory Test (the S.A.P.) ENGLISH 1. Which of the following is the correct answer to this question? a. b. c. d. e. none of the above 2. ingot:bleak :: ingot:_______ a. tepid b. gold... Read More »

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Special High Intensity Teaching

Special High Intensity TeachingMemo to all students:In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivityFrom students, it will be our policy to keep all students welltaught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING(S.H.I.T.). We are... Read More »

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No $

No $Dear Dad,$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you wouldlike, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$... Read More »

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Rabbits Ph.D. Thesis

Rabbit’s Ph.D. Thesis: A Parable for Graduate StudentsScene: It’s a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outsidehis burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter.Along comes a fox, out for a walk.Fox: “What are you working on?”Rabbit:... Read More »

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