Police Jokes

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Red fire fighter

There are four wheels and eight men on a fire engine.Four and eight makes 12.There are 12 inches in a ruler.Queen Elizabeth is a ruler.The Queen Elizabeth was a ship.Ships sail in the sea.The sea has fish.Fish have fins.The... Read More »

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Disorderly conduct

Three men stood before a judge on a charge of drunk and disorderly conduct in a public park.Judge: What were you doing?1st man: Oh, just throwing peanuts in the pond.Judge: And what were you doing?2nd man: I was throwing... Read More »

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A missing person

Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man.The wife said, “He is 35 years old,... Read More »

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Tell what happened

The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole.Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness. “Exactly where... Read More »

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What is the future

My horoscope read, “You’re going places and you can’t be stopped.”Apparently the cop who gave me a ticket hadn’t read it. Read More »

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Part of the service

Polceman: “I’m afraid that I’m going to have to lock you up for the night.”Man: “What’s the charge?”Polceman: “Oh, there’s no charge. It’s all part of the service Read More »

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Outrageous lying

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:Officer: May I see your driver’s license?Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.Officer: May I see the owner’s... Read More »

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F.B.I. phone logs

The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International Studies report on GLOBAL ORGANIZED CRIME. FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud.... Read More »

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Go to save my friend

A very wealthy lawyer retreated for several weeks each year to his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Every summer, he would invite one friend or another to stay with him there for a week or two.One summer... Read More »

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Why the big fight?

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight!Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said “Why did you put up such a fight?”To... Read More »

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