Parent Jokes

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Thoughts and quotes

The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson.——————————————————————————–Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life.——————————————————————————–Parents often talk about the younger generations as... Read More »

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Mom would never say

Things Mom Would Never Say”How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?” “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too” “Just leave all the lights on … it makes the house look more cheery”... Read More »

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Fathers then & now

Today is one of the first Father’s Days of our new millennium. Fathers of 1900 didn’t have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages:In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn... Read More »

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Out of food supplies

With four daughters and one son always dashing to school activities and part-time jobs, our schedule was hectic.To add to this, we kept running out of household supplies.I instructed them all to let me know when they used the... Read More »

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Great first parent

The First Parent by Bill Cosby Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to his kids. After creating Heaven and Earth, God created Adam and... Read More »

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My wife is pregnant

A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the doctor queries. “No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her *husband*!” Read More »

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The pre-birth class

When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child.The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child.... Read More »

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Pass out in shock

The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone dialed 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him... Read More »

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Have a first child

A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their first child.After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife’s stomach with indelible ink.The couple was curious... Read More »

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Child sent to bed

A small boy is sent to bed by his father… “Da-ad…” “What?” “I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?” “No. You had your chance. Lights out.” “Da-aaaad…” “WHAT?” “I’m THIRSTY…Can I... Read More »

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