Marriage Jokes

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Marriage quotes 14

Married life is full of excitement and frustration:* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.* In the third year, they both speak... Read More »

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Marriage quotes 11

A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. — GuitryAh Mozart! He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t. — BorgeAlways talk... Read More »

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Marriage quotes 13

There was a man who said, “I never knew what happiness was until I got married…and then it was too late!”Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.They say when a man holds a woman’s... Read More »

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Marriage quotes 02

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence–a life sentence.Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the... Read More »

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Marriage quotes 10

I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. — Dick MartinI do not see the EEC as a great... Read More »

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Marriage quotes 12

Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. — Catch-22Diplomat: A man who can... Read More »

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Marriage quotes 06

Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.Marriage is the... Read More »

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Marriage quotes 07

Many a wife thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what... Read More »

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Marriage quotes 08

If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don’t stand in her way.In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it’s... Read More »

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Marriage quotes 03

This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all.We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. — Groucho MarxWe must respect the other fellow’s religion, but... Read More »

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