Lawyer Jokes

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Need a new lawyer

Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawyer 1-) Your lawyer tells you that his last good case was of Budweiser. 2-) When the prosecutors see your lawyer, they high-five each other. 3-) Your lawyer picks the jury... Read More »

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Advice from lawyers

George and Lenny decide to cross North America in a hot air balloon. However, neither were particularly experienced balloonists, and Lenny’s mind quickly drifted from navigation to thoughts of how clouds look like cuddly little bunny rabbits. Upon realizing... Read More »

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Knowing the facts

The following is a true story, and this situation supposedly occurred in a real courtroom.At a trial, an attorney was putting witnesses through an exacting cross-examination, and was taking great delight into forcing witnesses to admit that they did... Read More »

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Demise of a partner

One day while walking down the street a highly successful partner in a law firm was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by... Read More »

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Learning a lesson

A prominent lawyer’s son dreamed of following in his father’s footsteps. After graduating from college and law school with honors, he returned home to join his father’s firm, intent on proving himself to be a skilled and worthy attorney.At... Read More »

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Merry Christmas law

Merry Christmas in Legal TermsPlease accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable... Read More »

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Halls of Justice

A judge was annoyed to find that his car wouldn’t start. He called a taxi, and soon one arrived at his house.Climbing in, he told the driver to take him to the halls of justice. “Where are they,” asked... Read More »

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You’re a lawyer if

You Might Be A Lawyer If….You are charging someone for reading these jokes. The shortest sentence you have ever written was more than eighty words long. You have a daughter named Sue and a son named Bill. Your other... Read More »

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Talk to the judge

A judge, bored and frustrated by a lawyer’s tedious arguments, had made numerous rulings to speed the trial along. The attorney had bristled at the judge’s orders, and their tempers grew hot. Finally, frustrated with another repetition of arguments... Read More »

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History of lawyers

Why God Created LawyersSatan was complaining bitterly to God, “You made the world so that it was not fair, and you made it so that most people would have to struggle every day, fight against their innate wishes and... Read More »

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