Food Jokes

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Food quotes and quips

Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .”Artichokes … are just plain annoying … After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual ‘food’ out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty... Read More »

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Placing your order

A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.There was a big sign posted. “No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.” The woman in front of us, pointing to the... Read More »

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Wise cooking advice

This weekend, I discovered a cooking tip I haven’t seen listed in any cookbooks.While you are preparing the food, and after the guests have arrived, you contrive to fill the house up with smoke, preferably enough to get at... Read More »

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He’s a real fun guy [fungi]

Heard on a radio station.What did the female mushroom say about the male mushroom?”He’s a real fun guy .” Read More »

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Bottle of Evian water?

Q: Ever wonder about people who pay $2 for a bottle of Evian water?A: Just spell “Evian” backwards! Read More »

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Purchasing a turkey

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family.She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.” Read More »

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M&M Evolution theory

M&M’s: The Theory of EvolutionWhenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species.To this end, I hold M&M duels.Taking two candies between my... Read More »

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Bad convenience foods

The Eight Worst Convenience FoodsAnd I thought nothing could top Hormel’s pickled eggs … 8. Meeter’s Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that’s sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit,... Read More »

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Food laughs & humor

From Harper’s Magazine:Amount of pizza eaten each day in U.S. (acres): 75 Read More »

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The bachelor’s diet

Bachelor’s DietMONDAY:BREAKFAST – Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty... Read More »

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