Computer Jokes

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AOL addiction poem

My computer broke down. It crashed and burned! And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay busy…And keep it off my mind. It was worse than cigarettes, at least butts I can find!! So I went... Read More »

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Microsoft versus GM

Microsoft vs. GMAt a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five... Read More »

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The power of shifting

Unleash the Power of Shift!Q: My shift keys have little arrows on them. Does that mean the *real* shift keys are located above them, and these keys are just little signs to point them out?A: Nope, they’re the Real... Read More »

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100 Buckets of Bits

100 Buckets of Bits100 buckets of bits on the bus 100 buckets of bits Take one down, short it to ground FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits... Read More »

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Top nine reasons computers must be female

Picky, picky, picky. They hear what you say, but not what you mean. Beauty is only shell deep. When you ask what’s wrong, they say “nothing”. Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed. Always turning simple statements into big... Read More »

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Definition of Windows

Webster’s Dictionary definition of Windows 95Windows95: n. 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that... Read More »

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User song and music

User(To the tune of Beck’s “Loser”)In the day of sysop nerds I was a flunkieJolt in my brains and body feeling chunkyWith the plastic mouse balls spray paint the CommodoreSystem install with the hard drive on the floorKill the... Read More »

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Gender and computers

Top nine reasons computers must be male:They have a lot of data but are still clueless. A better model is always just around the corner. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home. It is always necessary... Read More »

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Surfing the Internet

Surfin’ the NetSo I think I’m in the clearthe boss is no where in sightI logon to the web and start to surfand then my hair stands up with frightthe footsteps coming down the hallare quickening in pacethere is... Read More »

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Internet highway blues

The Information Highway BluesMy baby’s got my 486. My cellular phone’s on the blink. My fax’s gone off to fax heaven, And Pay For View stinks. I got the blues, I got the Information Highway bluuuuues. I got the... Read More »

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