Christmas Jokes

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Billy Gates writes to Santa

Dear Santa,How are you doing? I hope you’ve had a successful year and have come up with a lot of interesting toys. It’s really neat how you’re able to do that year after year. I guess that’s how you... Read More »

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What is a stable?

Every Christmas morning, when my kids were little, I read them the nativity story out of the big family bible.When my son was old enough to talk, he asked me what a stable was.I thought for a moment how... Read More »

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Italian Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, Da whole house was mella, Not a creature was stirrin’, Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.When up on da roof I heard somethin’ pound, I sprung to da window, To scream, “YO!... Read More »

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You Need to Join the Lord’s Army

Jack was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. The preacher grabbed Jack by the hand and pulled him aside.The Pastor... Read More »

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The Chinese Pay Off Their Debts

Jones: “The chinese make it an invariable rule to settle all their debts on New Year’s Day.”Smith: “So I understand, but, then again, the Chinese don’t have a Christmas the week before!” Read More »

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The Twelve Days of Windows 95

On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . .Windows 95 for my PCOn the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . .2 GPFsand Windows 95 for my PCOn... Read More »

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The Australian Christmas

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,Sweating his fat awayHere comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,Water-skis on his sleighNever have a white ChristmasWhen you in Melbourne liveWearing hot pants on the beachWhen you your presents giveHere comes... Read More »

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The Shopping Criminal

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,”What are you charged with?”"Doing my Christmas shopping early”, replied the defendant.”That’s no offense”, said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”"Before... Read More »

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The politically correct Christmas

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming, ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made... Read More »

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Rating your Christmas parties

If you threw a party, the worst thing you could have done was throw the kind of party where your guests, the next day, call you up to say they had a nice time. Now you’ll be expected to... Read More »

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