Business Jokes

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Where does he work?

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?” Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.” “That’s wonderful. How about you,... Read More »

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Economics textbooks

Ten things to do with a graduate Economics textbook1. Press pretty flowers. 2. Press pretty insects. 3. Use it as paper weight on your already overcluttered desk. 4. Leave out in obvious places to impress uninformed undergraduates. 5. Mail... Read More »

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Economists in parades

There is also a joke about the last Mayday parade in the Soviet Union.After the tanks and the troops and the planes and the missiles rolled by there came ten men dressed in black. “Are they Spies?” Asked Gorby?... Read More »

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Bad computer viruses

Economic computer virusesINTEREST GROUP ECONOMIST VIRUS – Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer. ECONOMETRICIAN VIRUS –... Read More »

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Economics astrology

An econometrician and an astrologer are arguing about their subjects.The astrologer says, “Astrology is more scientific. My predictions come out right half the time. Yours can’t even reach that proportion”.The econometrician replies, “That’s because of external shocks. Stars don’t... Read More »

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Half a year to live

A woman hears from her doctor that she has only half a year to live.The doctor advises her to marry an economist and to live in South Dakota.The woman asks: will this cure my illness?The doctor replies: No, but... Read More »

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Dinosaurs are talking

Dinosaur #1: “How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?” Dinosaur #2: “What is an economist?” Dinosaur #1: “A flunkie mathematician who tries to predict the population of kangaroos in Australia. But that’s not important... Read More »

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Talking on the plane

Two government economists were returning home from a field meeting. As with all government travelers, they were assigned the cheapest seats on the plane so they each were occupying the center seat on opposite sides of the aisle.They continued... Read More »

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Catching a criminal

“Two policemen are considering the problem of catching the bandit. One of them starts to calculate the optimal mixed strategy for the chase. The other policeman protests. ‘While we’re doodling,’ he points out, ‘he is making his getaway.’ ‘Relax,’... Read More »

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Economist Valentines

Top economist Valentine’s Day cards4. You raise my interest rate thirty basis points without a corresponding dropoff in consumer enthusiasm.3. Let’s raise housing starts together.2. You stoke the animal spirits of my market.1. Despite your decade of inflation, I... Read More »

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